Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Rainbows and Stormy Skies

"My soul is weary with sorrow: strengthen me according to your word."   (the Bible:  Psalm 119:28)

 Being in ministry is not always sunshine and flowers and beautiful rainbows.

  As a pastor's wife, I have seen my share of sadness, sickness and stormy skies.  Sometimes there is such sorrow that it threatens to drown me. I just want to walk away and leave it all behind me. That's when I REALLY have to yell towards heaven, "HELP ME, LORD!"   In order to help others, I HAVE to know that God is there - is really there - to help ME.  He has to give me patience (again), has to tell me to drop the anger (again), has to remind me (again) how we are ALL loved...has to show me (again) that none of us are perfect. He just HAS to give me wisdom on what to say or not to say.  It's all so hard sometimes.

Today was one of those days.  My heart is heavy. Though stormy skies were not here, literally, on this gorgeous day - they arrived, nonetheless. So, I've been begging God for a HEAPING spoonful of that wisdom that He promises ... so has my pastor husband.  We both want to say and do just the right thing.  To speak the word or words that will help, not hinder.  Hence, the cry of:  'HELP ME, LORD!" 

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  (the Bible:  Psalm 34:18)

  So ... my prayers are for God to send that wisdom quickly; to give me the "right" things to say, as needed.  Allow me to feel His presence, in my own sadness.  Most importantly, I'm praying for God to let those broken in spirit right now feel His arms around them and that they will turn to Him for answers and help.

No, being in full-time ministry is NOT always sunshine, flowers and beautiful rainbows.  But, sometimes it is.  In those moments of bright sunshine, blooming flowers and gorgeous rainbows I am reminded that life IS beautiful - that, in spite of the stormy skies of life, God IS there.

Looking at that rainbow makes me think of God's promise to Noah:  no more destroy-the-earth-floods.  "When you see rainbows, remember that promise I made you, Noah!"  I can count on God to keep His promise even in today's incident - He won't allow the floods of sadness, of sickness, or sorrow to destroy me.  Or anyone who turns to Him.  When I am discouraged...feeling so badly for what others are going through... or not feeling "up to the task" of being "a pastor's wife", I'm gonna just grab another look at that rainbow photo (unless there's a REAL one to see)..........and yell (again) towards heaven, 'THANK YOU, GOD, FOR YOUR PROMISE!"