Friday, July 15, 2011

Trusting God With Life's Disasters

Life is never certain from one day to the next.  Things may be going well one day, everyone well and happy and healthy.  The next day, or hour, or moment - disaster.  Our family has just had this happen - again.

My husband came home from a nine-day emergency stay in the hospital on July 4th.  Though we didn't celebrate the 4th this year with fireworks bursting in the air, our hearts were bursting with gratefulness that he was still with us.  I could have lost him a couple of times from heavy bleeding. I never cease thanking God now that my husband was able to get to the hospital and was diagnosed and treated by such wonderful and capable doctors and nurses.

My husband, John, had had colon cancer four years ago, and has had regular colonoscopies ever since. He'd had his last one a week before he entered the hospital, bleeding profusely.  He'd never had any bleeding from the colonoscopies before.

Our son and their four kids had been here for several days.  The day the bleeding started my husband and son and grandkids were going to another town a couple of hours away to visit Grandma. Before they left my husband told me there had been some blood in the toilet when he went to the bathroom, but said it was probably from the colonoscopy and nothing to worry about so he would go ahead and go.

Mistake.

At noon he called from a restaurant where they'd gone for lunch before visiting Grandma, and told me to call his doctor, as there was a lot of blood when he went to the bathroom.  The doctor said,  "tell him to come straight to the hospital immediately - go to the lab, where I'll leave instructions ...".  Long story, short: he was hemorrhaging so badly and his blood pressure dropping so quickly that he was admitted to the hospital right away. He was about two days in our local hospital, losing lots of blood and having transfusions.  Late the afternoon of the second day he was sent by ambulance to a larger hospital in a larger town a half-hour from us.

In the new hospital the surgeon kept hoping for the bleeding to stop on its own .  Tests were done to find the reason and location of the bleeding - which was from the areas where two polyps had been removed after the colonoscopy, and from some diverticulosis that was discovered during the colonoscopy.  After several days of continual bleeding and transfusions, there was one day of no bleeding; giving everyone hope that surgery would not be needed.  My husband was moved from the ICU unit to a regular room. The next day the bleeding started again, and the surgeon then decided he'd have to go ahead with the surgery.

Surgery happened.  Colon removed.

The doctor came to tell me the surgery went well - that my husband was in the recovery room.  And ... something else had come up during surgery ... "had to take out a small part of the small intestine as there was some hardness there, need to biopsy it for cancer; also had to cut a tiny piece of the liver that had a small nodule on it to send for a cancer biopsy ... will need to wait several days for the results ...".  Wow.  The colon surgery had been enough to take in; now, two biopsy results to wait on to see if there is cancer.

Thankfully, the biopsies came back early and showed no cancer. Now, we could concentrate on the colon removal and recovery.  No colostomy bag was needed, as the small intestine was attached to the rectum.  According to the surgeon there are many people living long and happy lives without their colons.  God created such amazing bodies!

Minutes before my husband was rolled into surgery I asked him, "Are you still praying?"

"I've never stopped", he replied.

I quietly said, "I'm angry right now with God."

"Why?", my husband asked.

"Because I've been praying this wouldn't happen; that you wouldn't have to have surgery to remove your colon. That you wouldn't have to suffer through surgery again. How come God isn't answering my prayer?"

My pastor-husband looked at me, quiet for a minute, as we held hands, then said, "Sandy, has it occurred to you that He DID (answer my prayer)?  We could have been in Haiti or somewhere else (Haiti was mentioned because we've ministered there) where we might not have been able to have the medical care I needed as I lost all that blood?  Or, out somewhere where I couldn't have gotten to a hospital ...".

Well, no, it didn't occur to me, as I was honing in on the only way I thought God should be answering my prayer.  I simply didn't want my husband to suffer anymore; and I thought I knew what was best.

My husband's answer, though, made me stop and think.  God's way is not always MY way.  My way may seem so logical from my human viewpoint - but God sees and knows and understands so much more than I can ever hope to this side of heaven. His answer made me think of the old "embroidery illustration":  that our lives are like an embroidery-in-progress.  We are down below, seeing only the knots, tangles and loose ends of the underside of the embroidery motif.  God, though, not only knows of the knots, tangles and loose ends ... but He sees the top.  He sees the whole picture.  He knows what the finished piece will become.

So, it comes down to trust.  Trusting God.  I may not completely understand God's way; but I can choose to trust Him.  Trust that He cares for my husband and knows what's best for him.  Trust that He Cares for me and understands and forgives my anger at Him, my fears.

Trust.  Yes. This pastor's-wife has been through the fear/anger thing before.  You'd think I'd have learned for sure by now that I can trust God.  I could have trusted Him from the beginning of this ordeal and saved myself from some of the stress and worry.  I can trust Him now, as He is with my husband through the recovery period.  I hope I will remember the following verses, and not let my trust in God waver if, and when, another life-disaster arrives.

Psalm 31:14 (NIV)

"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' "

Psalm 30:11 & 12 (NIV)

(11)  "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
(12)  that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever."

Monday, May 30, 2011

"On Second Thought"

On Second Thought

Lonely is the wind
flowing through the windows of my soul.
Does it seek
another lonely one to share its lonely life?

Or, does it
poke and thrust to coax me out for fun?
"Go away!", I say
and wrap myself tighter in my arms.

"My soul is wounded, bleeding, it can take no more."
Oh, but it can, I know,
because He is always there within
He will heal and love and help me grow.

So, lonely wind,
perhaps you are a friend.
And, if I loosen my grip on me,
if I slip out of my window
and join you on this day,
could it be that you and He
will lift my soul in play?

Friday, May 27, 2011

My Online Zazzle Store ..... come in and browse. :) ... Product Panel

New and different gift products - come in and see............

Father's Day Card from Zazzle.com

Father's Day Card from Zazzle.com

Original Father's Day card: photo of leather saddle in the barn on front, inside: Happy Father's Day to the greatest of Dads!

samecla*: Fathers/Dads/Daddys: Zazzle.com Store

samecla*: Fathers/Dads/Daddys: Zazzle.com Store

Come and check out my unique Father's Day gifts.............

My Online Zazzle Store ..... come in and browse. :) ... Product Panel


make custom gifts at Zazzle

Everybody needs a gift at one time or another - I have lots to choose from.  Come in and look around.........Father's Day is coming up - but there are also birthdays, anniversaries, girl-friend gifts, etc.  Choose from what you see - or I can design something personally for you, with your photo; all gifts can be customized.

Man's Cap/Father from Zazzle.com

Man's Cap/Father from Zazzle.com

Father's Day coming ... here's a nice gift for the horse-loving Dad ... brown and tan cap (available in other colors) with photo of leather saddle. Come see!

"Green Things"

Kansas pioneers, I remember reading, were always so thrilled when spring arrived and they began seeing green "things" growing again. After their often-times long, hard winters, as they kept trying to stretch their provisions, I can well imagine their relief and delight at the arrival of Spring. And green things.

I'm not a pioneer; but,sometimes I have to do some "food stretching", too. Not for the same reasons the pioneers had to - all I need do is run to the grocery store any time throughout the winter. Depending on finances - which is what MY "food stretching" hinges on.

Still...I can relate to the excitement of Spring that the pioneers had. During the winter my mind harbors visions of - no, not sugar-plums, but GREEN THINGS. Not just any green things. My mouth waters with the anticipation of fresh green salad fixin's popping up from the newly-awakened earth. When I notice the first Spring flowers (which I also love) pushing their way up from the ground I know the green-salad-stuff can soon be planted.

Nowadays my husband does most of the planting. He loves it, and is an old hand at it. He prepares the ground and plants. We both wait and watch for the salad-bowl-green-things to grow. I pick (he does sometimes)and prepare a salad.

And, ooooooh!, the subtle but distinct taste of just-pulled-out-of-the-dirt lettuce makes the long winter longing for "green things" worthwhile. So good. So much better than the grocery store lettuce. Yes. It is better.


Along with the tasty and pretty green things are the young scallions and the beautiful, bright red radishes. Mixed all together, they combine to form a most delicious and very healthy salad. One of life's small pleasures, for sure.

There is, however, a difference between pulling my green-things salad fixin's straight from the dirt and buying a bag of ready-to-eat lettuce at the grocery store. The store-version comes already clean and ready to throw into the salad bowl.


MY lettuce comes with dirt, pieces of dried leaves, maybe a bug or two - and has to BE cleaned before throwing it into the salad bowl. So - I give it a quick rinse in one side of the kitchen sink, while filling a plastic dishpan on the other side of the sink with cold water. Then, all of my green-things fresh from the garden are plunged into the cold water and swished around and around several times. Still not done, though. I then grab a handful at a time for a final rinse-and-check under cold running water, where I may still unseat a final bug or blade of grass.

When pronounced clean the green things fill the basket of my French salad spinner; a very inexpensive plastic one bought when we lived in France years ago and still working. Spun dry, the lettuce is then transferred to a plastic bag (a recycled grocery bag or a large freezer bag), with a clean rag or a couple of paper towels on the bottom of the bag to catch any left-behind moisture. My treasured and cleaned green things are then stowed in the fridge veggie bin where they last several days, depending on how fast we eat them up.


A little work ...but, SO worth the effort.

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A favorite, simple fresh-from-the-garden "chopped" salad:

Put washed and spun-dry garden lettuce or lettuces (we have two kinds, so far)and some fresh spinach leaves (also in our garden) in a large bowl ... chop it up with kitchen shears ... add cut-up green onions,cilantro or parsley, red radishes, celery, bell pepper, green Granny apple, dried cranberries, a few walnuts or pecans and sprinkle in some freshly-grated parmesan cheese. Shake a bit of garlic powder and freshly-ground pepper into the mix.

Our favorite dressing is just plain old HOMEMADE vinaigrette. Toss it all together and, Yum!
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Enjoy this garden-fresh salad as a first course, as a side salad with the meal or add some left-over meat(s) (chicken,beef,etc.) and enjoy it as the meal itself. The salad may, of course, be altered in many ways ... with the greens as the base for ANYthing that suits your taste. Get creative and mix up your own "house salad". :)

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A simple French Vinaigrette (makes about 1/4 cup)

1/8 tsp salt
1 Tblsp red wine vinegar (or more or less, to your taste)
1/2 small shallot, or small green onion, chopped fine
3-4 Tblsps olive oil
fresh herbs, chopped (optional)
2 Tblsps Dijon mustard (more or less, to your taste)
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Put all ingredients in a jar with a lid and shake well to mix.

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(I make vinaigrette all the time without a recipe; don't be afraid to do so. I usually make about 2 cups at a time ..... adding the olive oil, vinegar and mustard to taste. We like the vinaigrette with less vinegar "sharpness" and with lots of the mustard. I usually make it in a bowl and mix it all up with an old-fashioned "egg beater", before putting into an old vinegar cruet.)

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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

"Oh, Those Eggs ... "

In The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition, "eggs" are defined as: "the round or oval female reproductive body of various animals, including birds, reptiles, amphibians, fishes and insects, consisting usually of an embryo surrounded by nutrient material and a protective covering" and "the oval, thin-shelled reproductive body of a bird, especially that of a hen, used as food."

Eggs are good things. Really. They've gotten a few bad raps in the past few years, but, like for a lot of things, opinions have changed. Now we're told they are "okay". Could even be good for us. Like any food, you don't want to eat them 24/7 (well...unless that's all you have!), but DO eat them. They are a very versatile food.

Over my long years of cooking I've reached many times for that egg carton. For breakfast. For lunch. For supper. Fried eggs. Poached eggs. Creamed eggs. Scrambled eggs. Egg sandwiches. Hard-boiled eggs. Omelets. Egg sandwiches. Soft-boiled eggs. Mexican eggs. Italian eggs. Deviled eggs. And so on and so on and so on ...

Who knows how many ways there are to prepare eggs? About the time I think I've see all of the ways to cook an egg, up pops another recipe I haven't seen. Most egg recipes are pretty simple; a few a bit more complicated.

At any rate, I know one thing for sure: eggs are good things. They've been my answer many times to "what is there to fix for supper?". Or, "unexpected visitors - what to fix?" Or, "I'm so tired - what to fix quickly?" Eggs! Of course! Voila! Pull out that carton and crack those shells (or not). In a very short time you will have a tasty meal ready to eat.

Trust me. If you are not already an "egg person" you will become one - when you see how easy it is to create a quick and yummy meal with eggs.

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How To Boil An Egg (no, not everyone knows how!)

1. Place eggs in a deep saucepan and add enough cold water to cover them
2. Set pan over medium heat and let water slowly come to boiling.
3. Reduce heat to keep water just below boiling point (this is "simmering").
4. Cook 15 minutes - remove from heat.
5. Let cooking water cool - or drain and run cold water over eggs 'til cooled.
6. Peel and eat! Or, peel and fix in any number of ways! :)

(from a 1942 "Fannie Farmer Junior Cook" cookbook)

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A Quick Supper ...

Scrambled Eggs / broiled tomatoes / toasted English muffins / fresh fruit

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One of my favorite egg "recipes":

... I butter a slice of whole wheat bread, tear it into small pieces and put it into a cereal bowl
... Usually, I will salt and pepper the bread and add a bit of onion powder and garlic powder
... Then I poach two eggs in simmering water and put the two poached eggs on top of the bread pieces
... I like to sprinkle some grated cheese on top
... Then I top that off with chopped cilantro or parsley and more black pepper
... Chop everything together with knife and fork and ... Yum!

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Another of my "ways" with an egg:

... In my old-faithful cast-iron skillet I put just a bit of olive oil and a tiny bit of butter and heat it up
... Slide in an egg and cook just to a soft-yolk stage (or hard yolk, if you prefer)
... Sprinkle grated cheese on top
... Slide onto a plate
... Top off with a couple of spoonfuls of salsa and chopped cilantro
... Enjoy!

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One more "favorite":

A fried egg on top of hot grits, sprinkled with a little cheese (full-fat, no-fat, ANY kind of cheese!) and topped off with chopped cilantro or parsley and LOTS of black pepper. Mmmmmm, good!

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Do YOU have some favorite egg recipes you'd like to share? Feel free to do so here. I'd love to see them and try them out. :)