"By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion." (the Bible / Psalm 137:1 / NIV)
David, of the Psalms, wrote this ... though for a different reason, I, too, am "sitting by the rivers of Babylon, weeping and remembering". Weeping for friends who are sad, frightened and suffering at the moment: cancer, death, waiting a diagnosis, etc. Praying that God will heal, will comfort. Praying that He will, indeed, stretch that rainbow over each of their lives, as well as over the lives of their friends and families who are right there for them. I sit by the waters of Babylon and wish there was no suffering. For them. For me.
I've been reading a book by Philip Yancey,Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference?, reading today from chapter 15, "The Sound Of Silence".
"At that moment I needed prayer as much as I needed air
to draw my breath or oxygen to fill my blood ....
A void was behind me. And in front a wall, a wall of darkness."
-Georges Bernanos-
That's about how I feel right now; my friends, who are in the midst of their suffering, even more so. Prayers have been going up, right and left, from so many, from so many countries .. yet, we see that some of those prayers will not be answered as we wished them to be. One friend's breast cancer will STAY breast cancer. Why, God? A young couple's child may, right at this moment, be dying. Is THAT an answer to ALL THOSE PRAYERS, God????? The parents are feeling strongly that "void" behind them - and that "wall of darkness" in front of them. They SO need to see that rainbow. Oh, God, please paint it over their heads right now at this very moment. Pierce that wall of darkness with the peaceful beauty of the rainbow. Let them feel Your presence with them, even as their hearts are breaking - REALLY feel Your presence!
"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therfore we will not fear,
though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into
the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake
with their surging." (the Bible / Psalm 46:1-3 /NIV)
We DO, of course, fear; we DO experience the pain and sadness of suffering. You DO understand that, God. After all, You created us - with our human feelings and emotions. David felt those same fears, pains, sufferings. Yet, he also knew You were there - even when he was feeling the doubts; beneath it all he KNEW You were there for him. I'm praying right now that, even if I am angry, sad, not understanding about the WHY of the things happening to my friends that I, too, as well as my suffering friends, will also remember, as did David, that You ARE there for us. You DO understand. You stand ready with Your arms wide open to receive us, to comfort us as we struggle through the "roaring and foaming" waters; as we dodge those cracks in the earth and the falling mountains. Show them the rainbow, God! Let them see again the promise that You are with them, that You do understand their pain and heartache.
In his book, Philip Yancey speaks of how we often want those "happy endings". Oh, do we ever! A grief pastor of a church in Colorado is quoted: "Evangelicals tend to want to get to the happy ending. Sometimes there is no happy ending, and we're simply suspended in grief. When I'm with suffering people, I feel like a deep-sea diver accompanying them into the depths. Come up too fast, and you'll dangerously decompress. We need to stay with the grief for a while, feel it, let it out. Maybe we can see things through tears that we can't see dry-eyed."
Yancey adds: "Not only does God tolerate complaint in our prayers, the Scriptures fill in the words for us. Eugene Peterson calculates that two-thirds of the psalms qualify as laments. The Bible does not rush to a happy ending."
There are happy endings. And there are not. I am praying for the happy endings. I will not completely understand WHY, if there are not happy endings. When I am too sad or angry or whatever to continue praying for the happy endings, I will rely on the Scriptures, the Holy Spirit, to "fill in the words for me". I will make the clear decision to "stay" with God; to turn, once again, into His waiting arms for comfort. To put the burden of not understanding/agreeing with how God chooses to handle my prayers into His hands.
God, show me the rainbow over all the suffering. Most importantly of all, Lord, make that rainbow bright and shiny and beautiful over the hearts of my friends who are in the midst of the suffering. Let them see it as the promise that You ARE with them; You ARE with their loved ones; You DO understand and feel their suffering - the promise that You will never leave them alone in their storms.
